This is the first of a series of "fables", which will debut in Prague, CZ, in May. 

"... she felt the wave of sadness as she walked away from him, wishing, wishing again and again that it didn’t have to be like this. In the midst of joy, there was always this grief - this disappointment – repeated repeated repeated – over a lifetime, it seemed.

Again, he had said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time: she had received exactly exactly what she needed the most – how did he know?

 

But now she was on her way back home; his presence – a shared joke, a smile, a glance, every moment that seemed like caring, even the teasing words - little treasures – something as precious and as worthless as seashells or shiny pebbles – lingered in her heart. Such little things, but they were all she had. ..."

 

She had always been so hungry. So hungry, in fact, that she took each little hug, each glance, or gentle word, and treasured it – as if each one were the last ever. She boxed them carefully, embedding each tiny Gem in soft fabric, setting the little boxes on a shelf, but removing them and opening them often.  She savored each little grain of warm sand, gazing at it, holding it to the light, smiling over it, and putting back into its tiny box.  It was not trash, nor was it pearl or diamond; it was sand. Common sand.

She felt like a fool. She could not tell anyone, least of all him, how tightly she had clung to the little bit of love he had given her. She knew she could never tell him, and spoil even this much. Making him uncomfortable, she knew, would cancel everything. But how could she prevent him from figuring it out? How well could she guard her heart?

never tell never tell never never never tell

 

She did not want to hate it. But she did.  She could feel the knot in the middle of her chest, as it tightened up. One moment, there was the urge to fling something across the room, and the next moment, the urge to give in to weeping.  Of course, she was never one to do either, so she knew she would not do these things now. She tried to swallow the sea urchin of pain she had inside. 

What an awful thing it is to hold on to something so little, and yet so beautiful, so tightly! After all these years of living and loving alone, she has barely enough to fill a salt shaker – but what can she hope to have at the end of her Road – enough to build a castle in the sand?

 

But, today, now that she knew he was truly gone forever, she opened the little boxes, and found - shining, lumenescent, beautiful, precious - Pearls.